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June 5th, 2007

I decided that I needed to be honest with someone recently. Landon. And…well, right now I don’t know how it actually went. Or if he actually got the point that I was trying to make. I don’t think he did, or he’s just decided to look over it for right now and…I just don’t know. That kid though…I just don’t know what to do with sometimes. We’re not together. Which is hard. Maybe it’s hard because what I’ve known to be constant and regular for more than two years is all of a sudden not. And it’s just completely different. And I know I’m on my own. But that doesn’t mean that I actually feel that way. I don’t know what I mean, I guess I just…new sentence. I feel like our relationship, a good portion (not a majority though, I hope not) wasn’t based on honesty. And I think that really hurt us. And I don’t know why we did some of the stuff that we did, because the thing is, at least for myself, I know that I truly did love him. Do.

Sure, there are times that I wish things might be different. I think part of that is just me needing to grow up. I think part of it was me being angry because I felt like he needed to grow up. We both have so much growing up to do. I know that the people I talk to say that it’s not so much me but him, but I’m also sure that that’s because they’re hearing my side of the story.Write more comments on my page since my jackass cousin says I don’t have enough.

posted by The Pessimist at 2:12 PM | 0 comments
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I’m an Uncle, Gossip

I am an uncle! Jordyn was a healthy 8 pounds, 2 ounces and I can’t wait to see pictures.
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Republicans Can’t Be Governor Without Proper Pay…Sad

Democrats.org has a post called “Arizona Governor Rejects Raise, Irritates GOP” that’s worth checking out…

Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano is perfectly content with her $95,000 per year salary. Potential Republican challengers, however, are not. State Republicans apparently need more than $95,000 per year to make serving their state worth the time, and are a irritated that Napolitano turned down a pay raise they tried to force upon her.

It’s weird, because I think I talk about important things too much and to too many people. I really…shouldn’t. But I feel like no one actually knows where I’m coming from. I mean, they say they think they know, but they’re not in my position. They don’t know what he’s been for me and to me for so long. They don’t know. I tell them some things but honestly I don’t always tell them the entire truth, because I don’t want them to know, I guess because then maybe I’d look like the lesser person, and then they probably wouldn’t even want to be talking to me about it at all. I feel like all of my old high school friends, namely Sara and Diana…not so much Diana…and Hannah, just really don’t want to hear about it anymore.

Went to the economic forecast at the Progress Energy center last week. Hoping to get a line on rates but the conversation was not what I had wanted.

The Fed Reserve guy said that rates may go up end of 07. But I just think that he is parroting the head of the Richmond Fed that is the dissenting voice of the fed for moving Prime up. I think it will go down by spring, and could go into a refi boom by summer.

Here is the link about the forecast

 

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After the forecast, I hung around to try the Big Easy. Get the gumbo but dont ask for too much, it is a great little Cajun joint.

They never really believed what would happen would happen, but then it did. And they apparently just wanted it to be over. But I don’t think they understand why I never did want it to be over. And then the new people in my life think they understand it but then again, they haven’t been there all this time. I really love Bryce and Robin, because I feel like they are two people who don’t give a damn about how my relationship ever affected them. Their one sole concern was that I was happy. And beyond that they didn’t care.

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